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Confused Aliens

By Patrick Somerville.
Join the universe's most bumbling but oddly endearing space travelers on their mission to Belvetron IV. And hope that they don't destroy the planet and their own spacecraft along the way. Read the full story.

Part One

Win a copy of Patrick Somerville's debut story collection, Trouble. Just sign up for the FiveChapters mailing list with an email to editor@fivechapters.com. Winners will be randomly selected.   Read More >>

Part Two

The mission to Belvetron IV is off to a poor start. For one thing, Lieutenant Gleegluk accidentally blew the planet up, by firing the gun he intended to disarm. But that doesn't mean that the most bumbling crew of space travelers in the universe shouldn't investigate what happened, and blame somebody else. There's still time to win a copy of Patrick Somerville's debut story collection, "Trouble." Just sign up for our mailing list by sending a note to editor@fivechapters.com.   Read More >>

Part Three

Our not-so-heroic crew has destroyed the planet they are on a mission to see. They've blamed an insurgent on board for the accident, even though the error was their own. And in searching for the renegade on the ship, they've set off another explosion, this one on board their own craft. More not-so-heroics will be necessary to free the victims of the latest screw-up.   Read More >>

Part Four

Our space travelers have hit a wall -- and chewed straight through it. First, the bumbling astro-men destroyed the planet they were going to visit. Then they almost destroyed their own ship looking for a terrorist. Is this the day our clueless voyagers realize the enemy is truly within?   Read More >>

Part Five

What is good? What is evil? What is truth? Where is the head cook? Our lovable space nuts are close to the end of their journey, which started in disaster and has only gotten funnier from there. Catch up with the earlier misadventures here, or plunge ahead to the big finish.   Read More >>